They were both clubbed by Norwegians!
Full Version: Tiger Woods!
What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common?
They were both clubbed by Norwegians!
They were both clubbed by Norwegians!
Leave the poor guy alone, he just likes to swing his club.
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
da dump dump tish!!! hey, is this thing on? tip your waitress folks...
stop clubbing seals already!!
stop clubbing seals already!!
Whats the difference between Tiger's wedge & his car?
At least he can clear a water hazard and a tree with his wedge...
At least he can clear a water hazard and a tree with his wedge...
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards!
Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards!
Why was Tiger in such a hurry at 2:30?
He was late getting to the next hole.
He was late getting to the next hole.
What do Obama and Tiger have in common?
Both wish troops had never entered foreign soil
and are desperately trying to pull out
Both wish troops had never entered foreign soil
and are desperately trying to pull out
A reporter asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She responded, I don't remember how many strokes; just put me down for a 5!!!
Tiger ran into a tree and a fire hydrant. He couldn't decide between a wood and and iron.
Holy sheeeit that's funny!! ^^^^
Ping just signed Elin Nordegren Woods to a massive endorsement contract. Her signature driver will bear the emblem, "The club YOU can beat Tiger with"
What is the par on a Cadillac Escalade?
HA!!!
in other news, EA Sports has announced the recall of Tiger Woods '10 so a new bonus level can be added called "Help Tiger down the driveway". A special edition will be sold with a Wii steering wheel.
whew this thread is great!
Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name?: Cheetah
That was funny dbart!
Phill Mikileson Sp call Tigers wife and asked what club can you beat him with.
Tiger likes his women like he likes his golf balls..
White with dimples..
White with dimples..
be careful, his lawyer might come on here................................
just kidding, we all know behind the scenes of a happy marriage is a mistress
just kidding, we all know behind the scenes of a happy marriage is a mistress
good stuff, keep'em coming
WHAT COURSE GIVES TIGER THE MOST TROUBLE?
.........INTERCOURSE
.........INTERCOURSE
[]
did you here tigers got a new endorsement deal with trojan condoms
the new slogan is **** like a tiger and add more strokes to your game
the new slogan is **** like a tiger and add more strokes to your game
Eenie, Meenie, minie, moe....Catch a Tiger with his Ho
Here's the rest of em...
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide
between the iron or the wood.
His wife Elin told police that she went for a rescue wood, but it looks
like she really went for the driver.
Did you hear that he inspired a new Kung Fu movie to be released?
"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant."
Did you make it out of your own driveway safely this morning? Then you
can say that you outdrove Tiger Woods.
Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She's teaching Phil
Mickelson how to beat Tiger.
Did you hear about Tiger's last outing? He drove into a tree, then
ended up with a bad lie.
What kind of club did Elin swing at Tiger? Looks like it was a
bitching wedge.
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a
ball 350 yards.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They went clubbing.
and from Wanda Sykes: The black part of him bought the Cadillac, the Asian part crashed it.
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide
between the iron or the wood.
His wife Elin told police that she went for a rescue wood, but it looks
like she really went for the driver.
Did you hear that he inspired a new Kung Fu movie to be released?
"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant."
Did you make it out of your own driveway safely this morning? Then you
can say that you outdrove Tiger Woods.
Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She's teaching Phil
Mickelson how to beat Tiger.
Did you hear about Tiger's last outing? He drove into a tree, then
ended up with a bad lie.
What kind of club did Elin swing at Tiger? Looks like it was a
bitching wedge.
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a
ball 350 yards.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They went clubbing.
and from Wanda Sykes: The black part of him bought the Cadillac, the Asian part crashed it.
Oh geez...
QUOTE (RoxyL @ Dec 3 2009, 12:50 PM) 
Oh geez...
These are friggin hilarious!!
I feel sorry for the guy, having his personal life splashed all over the news like that.
But the jokes are pretty funny!
But the jokes are pretty funny!
nobody posted the song yet 
QUOTE (TD @ Dec 2 2009, 11:19 AM)
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
I like the Asian video re-enactment.. Elin looks pissed!
abc
abc
now #10 and #11 are coming out of the woodwork
Bill Clinton was heard saying WTF?
Wilt wants pointers,
Ron Jeremy and Peter North were spotted buying Tiger Woods Pajamas,
Chuck Norris is writing funny little sayings about Tiger.
Bill Clinton was heard saying WTF?
Wilt wants pointers,
Ron Jeremy and Peter North were spotted buying Tiger Woods Pajamas,
Chuck Norris is writing funny little sayings about Tiger.
Too much money, too much time..
(Yes, I'm jealous)
(Yes, I'm jealous)
he's on the back nine now
An unidentified woman has been transported from Tiger Woods' Florida home to the hospital by ambulance, WESH-TV reports.
The station says Orange County firefigjters responded to a medical call at the golfer's home eat 2:36 a.m. today.
WESH says video shows a middle-aged woman being taken from an ambulance on a stretcher at the hospital's emerenchy engtrance.
WESH says that a radio log shows that the patient initally refused to be transported by was later listed as an advanced life support patient.
Click here for the report.
Update at 7:14 am. ET: The Orlando Sentinel reports that Orange County Fire Rescue spokeswoman Genevieve Latham confirmed that firefighters responded to a call at the Woods address.
Latham said it was a "medical call" and that the patient "refused to be transported to the hospital," the newspaper reports.
Latham said there was no indication that rescue crews took anyone to the hospital, despite some news reports, the paper says.
Update 7:18 a.m. ET: The newspaper says a report by WFTV shows that a Cadillac Escalade, similar to the vehicle Woods had crashed outside his home last week, appeared at Health Central Hospital in Ocoee shortly after the 911 call to his' home.
The Sentinel says the tag number on the vehicle is similar to the one on Woods' car, as reported in the Florida Highway Patrol's crash report last week.
Update at 7:24 a.m. ET: WFTV quotes witnesses as saying that an "attractive blonde woman who looked similar to Tiger's wife Elin" was driving the vehicle. It says the license plate on the Escalade was only one character difference from the car involved in the crash.
The station says Orange County firefigjters responded to a medical call at the golfer's home eat 2:36 a.m. today.
WESH says video shows a middle-aged woman being taken from an ambulance on a stretcher at the hospital's emerenchy engtrance.
WESH says that a radio log shows that the patient initally refused to be transported by was later listed as an advanced life support patient.
Click here for the report.
Update at 7:14 am. ET: The Orlando Sentinel reports that Orange County Fire Rescue spokeswoman Genevieve Latham confirmed that firefighters responded to a call at the Woods address.
Latham said it was a "medical call" and that the patient "refused to be transported to the hospital," the newspaper reports.
Latham said there was no indication that rescue crews took anyone to the hospital, despite some news reports, the paper says.
Update 7:18 a.m. ET: The newspaper says a report by WFTV shows that a Cadillac Escalade, similar to the vehicle Woods had crashed outside his home last week, appeared at Health Central Hospital in Ocoee shortly after the 911 call to his' home.
The Sentinel says the tag number on the vehicle is similar to the one on Woods' car, as reported in the Florida Highway Patrol's crash report last week.
Update at 7:24 a.m. ET: WFTV quotes witnesses as saying that an "attractive blonde woman who looked similar to Tiger's wife Elin" was driving the vehicle. It says the license plate on the Escalade was only one character difference from the car involved in the crash.
<h1 class="fontStyle51">Ambulance called to Tiger Woods' home</h1>Updated: Tuesday, 08 Dec 2009, 6:27 AM CST
Published : Tuesday, 08 Dec 2009, 5:53 AM CST
ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. - Breaking news out of Orange County Florida. Fox News is reporting that Firefighters responded to a medical call at Tiger Woods home at 2:36 a.m. Tuesday. Logs show an adult female was transported to a Florida hospital.
According to WESH-TV, the patient taken from the home was on "on advanced life support".
Witnesses told WESH-TV the ambulance took the female patient to Health Central Hospital in Ocoee.
Woods' wife reportedly moved out of the couple's home after several women came forward claiming relationships with the golf star.
We'll be following this story throughout the morning on fox ten news and fox 10 tv dot com. We'll let you know when we have more details.
Published : Tuesday, 08 Dec 2009, 5:53 AM CST
ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. - Breaking news out of Orange County Florida. Fox News is reporting that Firefighters responded to a medical call at Tiger Woods home at 2:36 a.m. Tuesday. Logs show an adult female was transported to a Florida hospital.
According to WESH-TV, the patient taken from the home was on "on advanced life support".
Witnesses told WESH-TV the ambulance took the female patient to Health Central Hospital in Ocoee.
Woods' wife reportedly moved out of the couple's home after several women came forward claiming relationships with the golf star.
We'll be following this story throughout the morning on fox ten news and fox 10 tv dot com. We'll let you know when we have more details.
Cougar?
#11 was in the closet, forgot to feed her with all the commotion going on. Shes ok now
Tiger Woods was into threesomes and shelled out more than $60,000 to cat around with high-priced hookers, a Hollywood madam claimed Thursday.
"One of his favorites was Loredana Jolie," Michelle Braun told the Daily News, describing the gorgeous blond as a Playboy model from Sicily who's been living in New York since age 14.
"She's a stunning girl," said Braun. "He went out with her four or five times. She took part in group sex. They met up in 2006 or early 2007. I'd say he paid $15,000 for her."
Woods "had a pretty big appetite for women" added Braun, as the world famous athlete's list of extramarital "transgressions" continues to grow.
"He was rarely with just one girl. He usually wanted more. He liked three-ways," she said.
Braun, whose escort service was closed due to legal troubles, said two of Woods' other playmates were porn star Holly Sampson and onetime trashy lingerie model Jamie Jungers.
Braun contended Woods would drop $30,000 to $40,000 a weekend for his liaisons and that he met up with the women in cities where he was playing tournaments.
"He would request the college-cutie, girls-next-door look," she said.
Braun also said the girls marveled at the golf champ's endurance.
"He could go for days," she said. "He'd pay a flat rate for an evening, but an evening would usually be extended. The girls would talk about his stamina."
The girls all thought Woods was a "real gentleman" and a good lover, Braun added.
"He'd shower them with gifts, he was very polite and he was amazing in bed ... very sensual and well-endowed."
Woods and most of her celebrity clients always were "smart enough" to pay in cash, Braun said, adding the golf star, in particular, "liked to communicate by text message."
"Most of the girls understood it was a business relationship," Braun said. "I've never known a girl to fall in love with a client. I've seen them develop relationships with men who were available. But Tiger made it clear this was a good time and his wife would always be in the picture."
Jungers, 26, who has said she was in love with Woods, also is going public about their hot-sheets affair, boasting that their secret sex life was GRREAT!
Jungers, who is scheduled to appear this morning on NBC.'s "Today" show on "Dateline" tonight, refutes the claim that Woods paid her for sex, swearing, "I have nothing to do with prostitution."
"I mean, we had - I felt like we had a lot - or I had a lot of feelings toward him," Jungers admits. "It wasn't just a sexual situation . . . I loved him."
"One of his favorites was Loredana Jolie," Michelle Braun told the Daily News, describing the gorgeous blond as a Playboy model from Sicily who's been living in New York since age 14.
"She's a stunning girl," said Braun. "He went out with her four or five times. She took part in group sex. They met up in 2006 or early 2007. I'd say he paid $15,000 for her."
Woods "had a pretty big appetite for women" added Braun, as the world famous athlete's list of extramarital "transgressions" continues to grow.
"He was rarely with just one girl. He usually wanted more. He liked three-ways," she said.
Braun, whose escort service was closed due to legal troubles, said two of Woods' other playmates were porn star Holly Sampson and onetime trashy lingerie model Jamie Jungers.
Braun contended Woods would drop $30,000 to $40,000 a weekend for his liaisons and that he met up with the women in cities where he was playing tournaments.
"He would request the college-cutie, girls-next-door look," she said.
Braun also said the girls marveled at the golf champ's endurance.
"He could go for days," she said. "He'd pay a flat rate for an evening, but an evening would usually be extended. The girls would talk about his stamina."
The girls all thought Woods was a "real gentleman" and a good lover, Braun added.
"He'd shower them with gifts, he was very polite and he was amazing in bed ... very sensual and well-endowed."
Woods and most of her celebrity clients always were "smart enough" to pay in cash, Braun said, adding the golf star, in particular, "liked to communicate by text message."
"Most of the girls understood it was a business relationship," Braun said. "I've never known a girl to fall in love with a client. I've seen them develop relationships with men who were available. But Tiger made it clear this was a good time and his wife would always be in the picture."
Jungers, 26, who has said she was in love with Woods, also is going public about their hot-sheets affair, boasting that their secret sex life was GRREAT!
Jungers, who is scheduled to appear this morning on NBC.'s "Today" show on "Dateline" tonight, refutes the claim that Woods paid her for sex, swearing, "I have nothing to do with prostitution."
"I mean, we had - I felt like we had a lot - or I had a lot of feelings toward him," Jungers admits. "It wasn't just a sexual situation . . . I loved him."
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