ahh, the warmth of a fresh cup of java in my hands..there is something comforting in it. I wish I knew what it was. Maybe it's the hint that a new day is upon us..new opportunities to steer this barge we call life. As I sit here, i marvel at the beauty of the sun rising, casting its glow onto clouds, turning them a hint of pink. I watch the shadows of night creep off the hill side, pushed by the almighty orange ball in the sky. life is anew, and a new day is rapidly approaching. What will I make of this gift, this day that will soon enough turn to darkness once more. Maybe I'll mow the yard, do chores, or simply marvel that my eyes remain open, that i am alive. Alive, a funny word..I one time thought I was alive, but now question it. Was I living, or merely existing? The rat race of the modern world forces its hand unto us all..we have to work, this we agree. I never thought I would find that inner peace that being in the desert gives me, right here, right now, in my own backyard. I have spent more time at home, learning things i didn't know about myself or my family, since i got hurt. Speaking of hurt, I'm doing much better now. I still have side effects from the injuries, but, overall I am thankful for what I don't have. I focus on the positives of what is not wrong, versus dwelling on what is wrong. I can't think of any time I ever thought about what was right..sure, buying a new truck or getting a new Tv gave me that warm fuzzy feeling, but it was only a temporary happiness that dwindled into a nagging payment..until the next materialistic happy feeling could replace it. My adventures have grown my view on things in ways i never "would of", or should i say, taken the time to realize "could of" had long ago. i guess i just took for granted what i have. i never stopped to turn around and see how things were blossoming...i was always focused on what was in front of me and what i wanted and how i'd get there. I never stopped to think of where I'd been..and what kind of footprints I had left behind. Did i tromp through someone else's garden, or did I walk softly around it? Deep questions that can't be answered without deep thought. My adventures have taken me to new depths..have introduced me to new people, and shown me a compassion in others that i hadn't seen before. How does one appreciate such a thing. My thoughts take me back to when i was a child, and read a book called the Giving Tree. I never quite got that book, but think I have an idea of its meaning now. As i step forward and return once again to the rat race of life soon, I can only hope that these painful and trying times will be a memory of the good times and new friendships i have found. One day i will look back on all this and say it was worth the ride. To be able to understand others situations with more personal depth, more compassion, and more love. I will end this by saying you all have grown me to new heights..I am humbled by all the support and love and compassion I have received by so many of you..and the best way i know how to honor this is by doing what we at GD.com call...paying it forward...and i hope to fill those shoes as best as i can with honor and dignity. look out world....I'm back!!!!!!

Right on << Glad your Feeling it, you sound like you have figured some things out from a crappy situation.