What are some funny comments you use and/or hear people use, I will start with a few:

1. Is a pigs @ss pork
2. Does a Bear $hit in the woods
3. Is a frogs @ss water tight

Like fat kid eating a twinkie
Like fly on $hit

Does Howdy do dee have wooden balls.

Does a Baptist Chruch have a Bus.

Happier than a puppy with 2 peters

Like a 3 legged midget in a Marathon.

LOL!

This thread looks fun! I'll have to play tomorrow though.....gotta be up early......My boss is a slave driver.

I do know that when my slave driver boss pays me tomorrow........


I'll be happier than a 2 pecker'ed Billy Goat in heat!

Busier than Pamela Anderson at a ____ s_ck__g convention.

You have more comments than an OB for sale thread!

LMFAO!!! That's funny right there!!

Thanks i'm here all week....

One of the funniest comments I ever heard was from my buddy Big Mike. We were in a hotel pool on the first weekend of hunting season in Imperial Valley. Tons of macho hunter guys all over the place. This guy comes walking down the stairs near the pool carrying a cooler full of beer. He trips down the stairs and spills all his beer all over the place.

Big Mike says, in a very loud voice, "Was that embarrassing, 'cause it sure as hell looked embarrassing!"

The whole crowd of hunters just burst out into uncontrollable laughter. I laughed and laughed forever.

It's one of those things where you probably had to be there to fully get the humor of it. And damn if we had video of that it would be a YouTube top ten.

Foghorn Leghorn (the old cartoon rooster):
"She remi - I say, she reminds me of Paul Revere's ride. A little light in the belfry."


"As useless as screen doors on a submarine"

LMAO!!! He's gonna have another one for sale in a few months.......

Why was that OB......cuz your screwin the cat and he's just holding the tail

Shhhhhhhh........quiet fukker.

Go to bed already, you gotta get up early........

Is there a mustache in Mexico?

Sweatin like a fat kid at recess.

It's Ok. My slave driver boss dont know I'm on here.

Funniest quote in sand rail tech;

Fixed.

busier than a cat covering up shiat on a concrete sidewalk.

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Does a one legged duck swim in a circle ?

Fat chicks and Mopeds.. Fun to ride till your friends catch you on one..

Sweatin like a ho in church...

Tighter than dick's hatband- an oldie and i have no idea what it means

And when someone tells you that joke you say, "You've never ridden a Moped."

" If brains were gasoline, you wouldnt have enough to fire up a piss ants motorcycle and run it around the inside of a cheereo"

Does a Hobby Horse have a Hickory Dick?

"Like Oprah on a baked ham"

"Happier than a gopher in soft ground"

"Busier than a pair of jumper cables at a hillbilly wedding"

"Crowded elevators smell different to midgets."

Happier than a pig in shit
Hotter than the hubs of hell
slicker than snot on a doorknob
colder than a witches tit

One that to my knowledge, I made up.....


If a woman is talking in the woods, and no one is around to hear her, is she still wrong?

What do you mean "IF"?

I did a science experiment with my wife. When she's sleeping, or in a room she thinks is by herself, she doesn't talk the entire time......

And that is a GD.com quote...the guilty parties know the story.

colder than a witches titty in a brass bra

hotter than a fresh f#cked fox in a forest fire (say that three time, fast)

more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs

happier than a bear in a bar full of beer

slicker than the north end of a southbound goose

Old timer to us 3 high school kids on our first trip to the river while getting gas at Rice (yes, there used to be a real operating gas station there) - "It's hotter than a popcorns fart out here"...

"is Jesus black?"

hahah i laughed pretty hard !

ha! I like that one

Does Raggedy Ann have cottons ( @ Y @ )?

About 30 some yrs ago my 7 grade substitute teacher was telling us about bikinis and how they are now no more than a couple of bandaids and a cork

My mother in law telling someone who walked in late for dinner, "We waited on you like one pig waits on another"


If you werent so stupid I could explain to you how stupid you are!

shiat in one hand and wish in the other, see which one fills up faster


and if frogs had wings, they'd never bump their ass


"hey"...hay is for horses and sometimes cows, pigs don't eat it, cause they don't know how.

It's raining harder than a cow pissing on a flat rock.

That's as useless as ( @ Y @ ) on a submarine.

That's stiff as a weddin' prick..

Nuttier than a squirrel turd.

And when someone/thing pisses me off:

That makes me want to punch babies/kill kittens.