Go ahead and shut things down after this because it's the best thing you'll hear all day: There is a man in Portland robbing banks in a modified "Sabotage" video outfit — namely, a "black wig, fake mustache, dark sunglasses" and suit — and the police are calling him the Beastie Boys Bandit. He's "in his mid 30s to 40s, about 170 to 200 pounds and 5 foot 10 inches to 6 feet tall" and has been robbing banks since June by either passing a note saying he has an explosive device or flashing an actual handgun. Look, we were pretty psyched to hear Lil Wayne was getting drugs named after him — but, honestly, this is much cooler. And great promotion for the upcoming Hot Sauce Committee Part 2! Contact detective Tony Christensen at 503-552-5411 if you have any information on the Bandit, or if you want to congratulate the Portland Police Department for being hilarious. [Oregonian]