So the ex is leaving for another state soon and we currently have a 50/50 custody agreement.
Can she file in that states court and drag me out there for a long battle?
Should I lawyer up now... That's all I want to know.....
Kid is 14 and wants to stay (99% sure) but I do not trust her Mom at all...
Anybody with a real world experience?
Thanks

Could be a custody battle but pretty sure it would have to be in the existing court where the original agreement was made.

I would wipe the floor with her in a custody hearing here, but being dragged to CO. would put a hurting on me...

The only experience I can give you is second hand so take it with a grain of salt. Also different states involved.

I know a woman (I am intentionally obfuscating who she is but I know this story is accurate) who lives here in AZ with her two kids. She had lived 'separated' from her husband for like 6 years and finally was getting around to getting a divorce. He was in Utah or Colorado, I can't remember which. Part of the issue was custody of their children.

He wanted partial custody, she wanted full custody. They did the whole thing in the mail. The difference was she initiated the process here in AZ, but he never did have to travel here. They did the whole thing through US postal. Worked out custody and child support.

I believe it was disputed but not 100% sure. They may have come to an agreement in the end which allowed them to both avoid going in front of the same judge simultaneously. Can't vouch for that detail.

Good luck, I hope everything can be worked out without issue. I'd hate to have to go through that.

Perhpas not a popular option;, but if you are concerned you could always try and get ahead of the situation by initiating something here that would prevent you from having to travel to CO.

Yes.. those are my thought's now.
Actually my first thought was to have an atty draft up a letter (something that keeps any custody issue in cali) and having her sign it...
If she refused, I know what her true intentions are..

I went through this years ago.
Get in front of it with your lawyer and you should be ok.

I have a friend that is doing this right now. The exwife moved to MA. with a new boy friend and now wants the kids to live with her. He still lives in CA. with the kids. The last 2 court dates she has used the telephone to appear in court here. They put her on speaker phone and fight away. He has court again tomorrow. He also has a lawyer.

I don't know how CA law works but here in AZ if you have a joint/shared custody agreement, the spouse wanting to relocate to a different state has to get permission from the spouse or court. I watched this happen multiple times to a family member. Family member had 1 daughter and his wife thought the grass would be greener elsewhere. She left him and tried a number of times to move out of state. Each time the court told her that if she wanted to move, custody would have to go to the father unless he agreed to allow his daughter to move with her mom (which she didn't). Each time, she would notify him that she was moving and he would have to take her to court and petition for full custody. In each case, the judge told her that she was free to move but the custodial parent would become the father. She didn't want to give him full custody so she would stay.

Also at 14 the child....in the courts eyes....is mature enough to state what they want.
Unless the mom in fluences her decision by guilt trip or whatever.

If you have a custody agreement with a California court, she still has to follow it. If she leaves and take the child, then she is breaking the custody agreement (unless she has the child back for the days that are yours). Example: If your day is tomorrow and she doesn't release the child to you, than you call the police and she gets in trouble. Same goes if she tries to leave and go out of state. She can try to go to court in another state, but you would be there to show them that you already have a court agreement in California and she's in violation of it. If you guys want to change the court agreement, you have to go to court and re-do it. She doesn't need permission to move, but she does need permission to move with the child and alter the court agreement.

Yep if over 14 years old the child can pick. Just go to court now and say your child wants to live with you full time. I had a friend just go thru this as the mother of his child was moving out state due to a military psc. Hopefully you won't have to give your money to lawyers. Good luck I hope it is simple.

Hi this is Carrie (Jeffs Girlfriend)....

Most custody battles if in the last couple years, will not allow 1 parent to move out of state with out the permission on the 2nd parent. Most cases, you will need to go to court to have the custody agreement revisited. I believe at the age of 13 a child can tell a judge which parent they choose to live with. Just file at the court house. I forget the name of the document but its basically requesting a conference with a court appointed person and both parents, sometimes the child, after that meeting they will then decide if you need to go in front of a judge. Az is pretty good when it comes to custody issues and you have a "young adult" so they are capable of having a say in the matter.

I'm going to have an atty look at our divorce (custody) paperwork and make sure there's no funky stuff. (anybody know a good one in San Diego?)
A few of you have touched on it but yeah, I am worried about the major guilt trip..... It is already taking place.
I've told my daughter she can do what she wants (always have) but she just started getting a social life, has a great group of friends, starting High School and going out for the Volleyball team as we speak.. She has said loud and clear, "I'm staying with you dad"..
I feel like if her mother "gets" to her, she will make the wrong choice.....(it would be... trust me)
If you guys knew why she was leaving you would publicly stone her.. As much as I dislike her mom, It kills me her mother is going to be gone during the most "important" years of her life..
Thanks for the help folks..

She CANNOT move the child out of California without your permission. Fortunately I do not speak from expierence but have had two friends go throgh this exact same thing. Ex wives wanted to move out of state and take the kids who were 50/50 custody. One father said no and she had to stay, end of story. The other said yes provided the children were allowed to come to his CA residence (she moved to Vegas) at least one week per month, one month during their summer break and on her and her new husbands dime. She has yet to send the kids down here, he has to go get them. And she still wants her weekends during their summer break. He went back to court and was told you said she could leave, there's nothing we can do.

Sucks you have to go through this.

Like everybody else already said, if you do not agree, she cannot take the kid. Also, in Ca, you must live in the county for at least 3 months before you can file anything in that county, not sure if it would apply to Co, but I would think so.........

But then again, the dad ALWAYS GETS ****ED, so who knows...... Do I sound bitter

As stated a few times above, if any parent wishes to move out of state, they need get permission from the other parent, and it must be done in court. The parent wishing to move would need to file a petition with courts where the original custody took place, and then the parent not moving would then have 30 days to respond(at least thats how it is in TN). Further, if you are afraid of her taking the child out of state, could also get a restraining order prohibiting the mother from taking the child out of state. If she got caught, would be arrested. Lastly, I think because the child is 14, the judge will also take into consideration with which parent the child wishes to live. If she still moves out of state, would most likely be awarded summer visitation and holiday visitation. I am not an attorney, but went through the ringer with the mother of my child and dealt with all this. I would definitely get a head of this and get an attorney just to give yourself peace of mind. The attorney would be able to file all necessary petitions easily as they are pretty boiler plate.

she cannot move till this is taken care of and if she does the court will heavily rule NOT in her favor.... You daughter can pick, its cool that your trying to give your little one breathing space, might also be better for her if you explain, she's picking cali or colorado.. not you or her... cause in all reality she is..... Hope you the best on this crappy situation. I would draw up the papers now just to let her know you smell the stank from here...

Get a lawyer and look out for your daughter's best interest ASAP! Do not give her Mother a chance in hell to move her out of the state and ruin her life!

Check with the family court in your area. Ask if a restraining order applies to prevent your ex from taking her out of state w/o your permission.

If it gets nasty a RO may be a quick way (not a fix) to get in front of a judge for an official hearing.

Good luck

All I have learned in the past few months is whoever files first in the situation kinda has an upper hand it shows the Judge you are not just waiting to see but truly active in your childs life etc.

Experience here for AZ at least. The original state in which the agreement was filed will be the custodial state and all procedings will take place there. Now if she were to take the child with permission, within 6 months of the new residence she could file in that state and all legal procedings would take place there. Along with the long distance, support, parenting time, transportation costs all get refigured under the new states guidelines.

Here in AZ, regardless of the childs age, the judge has the option of interviewing the child, it is not mandatory to here their side.

I would spend the money on a lawyer, or if confident in post divorce relationship abinding agreement.

honestly, I would get a lawyer. I know, spent close to 60 grand 5 years ago in a similar case.

In my 15 yrs going thru this with my ex. The key word is joint legal and joint pyshical custody. If you JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY, she can't move out of state w/o your permission, but here in cali, the courts at age 12-13 say they are old enough to choose. And my ex wife has "brainwashed" my kids to live with her, even though when kids did come over there was no problems when they visit with me. I would get down to courthouse and file something or look online at your local courts(they have necessary paperwork), also every courthouse has a court facililator to help you with paperwork. Or best option hire a lawyer and they can guide you thru these times. I knew my ex would try and pull some BS , so I specifically put in my order that that she couldn' t move out of 7 So Cal counties unless for family medical reason or for finiancial gain. If you have a agreement in place, good. But it can alwalys be amended and new agreement but in place.. Hope this helps you during this tough times...