It was a cold crisp evening as Slap and Mrs. McDuner strolled down vendor row in the Glamis Flats. There was people all over da place; vendors, buyers, sellers, bean oil smell in the air, and all kinds of lookie lous. Slappy do gotta say dat one of his most favorite things to do is windowshop down vendor row checking out all da cool stuff on display. It is Mother Glamis's very own mini mall. And since this was da busiest weekend of da year, there was plenty to enjoy.
As Banshee, buggies, and occasional golf carts rolled past us, Slap couldn't help but feel all giddy inside. But that good feeling soon vanished when out of nowhere came a booming voice, "Hey Slappy, is that you?" Slap turned and saw a face he ain't seen in a long long time, Perty-Boy-Floyed McKenzie. And on his side was a petite little blonde girl dat looked like she came straight out of Victoria Secret's Summer Catalog (not dat Slappy looks through them or anything...um...uh, Slap just likes reading the articles, honest).
Anyways, Slappy gotta tell ya dat he never did like Floyed dat much. Floyed constantly picked on da Slapster, and always flaunted hisself and his toys when he was a kid. And from da looks of him right now, not much had changed. "Hey Floyed" Slap had to say, "When did Gucci start making riding gear?"
"I had these custom made Slappy directly from Gucci" Floyed said, "And check out these Luis Vitton custom made boots shipped to me personally from the president of the company." As we looked down at his hoity toity boots, Slap noticed that the both of them was sizing us up with smirks on their faces that said, "We're better than you."
"So Slappy" Floyed continued, "Still the same ol boring Slappy I see, even after all of these years." Of course dat didn't catch Slappy by surprize, Perty Boy was always dat way with Slappy, but you don't think dat da Slapster was gonna let dat one slip by did ya? "Hey Perty Boy, hows da genital herpes coming along? Da last time Slap saw ya you was having some real bad breakouts."
"Oh you're real funny aren't you Slappy" Floyed replied, "But I bet you can't match this." Floyed raised the hand of his petite little girlie friend and showed us a humungified diamond ring on her finger, a rock so big dat Slap couldn't believe she could even hold it up.
"Nine Carrots Slappy. What is your lady wearing, an old Fresca can pop top ring?"
"Hey" Slap snapped back, "It came from a can of Tab, get it right."
"Wow Slappy" Floyed replied, "You really went all out for her didn't ya?"
Slap was a boilin inside, so he just had ta let loose, "Listen up you larrymcsnazzletoothed flatulant, it's never been about how much money you gots, or buyin fancy Gucci Gear, it's all about bein true to yoself and bein proud of what you are. Slap don't need all dat fancy gear to make hisself look good, Slappy knows he be good. Slap likes it dat way, SIMPLE. Slap ain't ever gonna be like you Perty Boy."
There was a brief moment of silence between the four of us as we just stared at each other with menacing glares. Floyed of course jumped right in to get the last word, "You just keep telling yourself that Slappy to make yourself feel better, but you'll never be better than me." Ya know, Slap ain't seen Floyed in years, yet Slap couldn't take one more minute of him. "We're gonna be goin now Perty Boy" Slappy said, "May a witches eye ruin yo day."
Floyed and his model girlfriend stood and watched as Slap and Mrs. McDuner climbed into a brand new Buckshot X-5, custom built with a diamond laced stearing wheel, Bose equipped stereo, silver lined stickshift, leather bucket seating, satellite connection with miniature 5"X 5" flat plasma screen drop down tv, and 24kt gold plated rims. As we drove off, Slap leaned over to Mrs. McDuner and said, "Sugarlips, if Slap ever gets that way, just pull da trigger please."
[ 11-15-2002, 06:47 AM: Message edited by: Slappy ]