Carmakers invited to join the church of high mileage

NEW YORK TIMES NEWS SERVICE and ASSOCIATED PRESS
November 21, 2002

DETROIT - A coalition of religious groups launched a grass-roots campaign yesterday linking fuel efficiency to morality, with some ads going so far as to ask: "What Would Jesus Drive?"

Leaders of the movement, which include representatives from a variety of Jewish and Christian organizations, met with executives and top officials at Ford, General Motors and the United Auto Workers.

"We are under a commandment to be faithful stewards of God's creation," said Paul Gorman, executive director of the National Religious Partnership for the Environment, an umbrella organization of Christian and Jewish groups. "This is a crisis in God's creation at the hands of God's children."

Leaders of many groups within the partnership have signed a letter to the Big Three's chief executives asking for improvements in fuel economy. They say they have a biblical mandate to be good stewards of God's creations and a responsibility to the poor who are especially harmed by pollution. And they decry supporting "autocratic, corrupt and violent" governments that produce oil.

"We write now to ask you in the automobile industry a more explicit question," the letter said, "What specific pledges - in volume, timing and commitments to marketing - will you make to produce automobiles, SUVs and pickup trucks with substantially greater fuel economy?"

Representatives of GM and Ford said they looked forward to a dialogue with the coalition to explain advances and challenges in the effort to improve vehicle fuel efficiency. The religious groups are promoting hybrid and fuel-cell vehicles, as well as other fuel-saving technologies.

"If you in the American auto industry manufacture and market more clean cars, we in the American religious community will not only tell our people about it, but we'll have prepared them to embrace such a change," said David Saperstein, director of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism in Washington.
Campaign leaders said the effort is not aimed at any specific products, and no boycotts are planned.

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School teachers send their social-engineering messages home through your children. Politicians jam it down your throat with junk-science supported proposals. Hollywierd puts it to you through the succulent mouths of brainless bimbos. But This is THE TOPPER!

Now, at a church or synagogue (notice the Muslims didn't sign on to this one) near you! More pressure to live small, eat bugs, and go around dirty, naked and hungry. Because Jesus might come back and run over your sorry over-consuming smoke-belching ass, with his YUGO.

This coalition of morons must have skipped bible study (chasing alter boys instead?). Are we talking about the same family of Deities that EVAPORATED Sodom and Gomorrah? Whole cities turned to ash? Who PARTED AN ENTIRE SEA and then allowed it to flood back again, causing massive shore habitat damage? Who traveled as a PILLAR OF FIRE by night and a COLUMN OF SMOKE by day for 40 YEARS through the desert ( yes, that very delicate ecological setting). Who burned bushes, rained frogs, turned rivers to blood, in one night killed the first born children of an entire nation and FLOODED THE ENTIRE WORLD, killing every living thing except a boat load of circus animals and it's keeper?!?!?!?!!!

This polluting, angry, killing, and destroying God.

Now the the Son of that same God speaks through his modern disciples:

IMPROVE YOUR MILEAGE!!

Now if you will turn to page 37 in your hymnals...

Ya I'm sure our SAVIOR would be driving a SUV of any type! These people have truly lost it!

LIVE FREE OR DIE!

http://www.calendarlive.com/printedition/c...rg20nov20.story

Jesus in a Geo? It would be a miracle


By Roy Rivenburg, Times Staff Writer

Theologians have wrestled with some pretty bizarre questions over the centuries, such as "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" and "Do hair and fingernails keep growing in heaven?"

The latest head-scratcher is "What would Jesus drive?" The traditional answer is "a donkey." But what if Jesus had been born in modern times? Would he choose public transit or a private car? Stick shift or automatic? A sport-utility vehicle roomy enough for all 12 apostles or an economy model?

Jim Ball, a Baptist pastor who runs the Pennsylvania-based Evangelical Environmental Network, doesn't think such questions are esoteric. His group is launching a "What would Jesus drive?" ad campaign today designed to discourage Christians from buying gas-guzzling sport-utility vehicles.

Ball argues that God would choose an environmentally friendly vehicle, such as a Toyota Prius, which has a hybrid gasoline-electric motor. But other "theologians" disagree.

San Francisco Chronicle columnist Scott Ostler theorized that Jesus would tool around in a vintage Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."

And our research department uncovered several other divinely approved autos. For example, in Psalm 83, the Almighty apparently owned a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm," although theologians aren't sure how a Geo Storm could be considered terrifying, unless it had those scary shooting flames painted on the sides.

Another scripture indicates that Yahweh favored Dodge pickup trucks. Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain until "the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."

God also owned an AMC vehicle. In the book of Exodus, he promised to "send the Hornet ahead of you to drive the Hivites, Canaanites and Hittites out of your way."

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but preferred not to discuss it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel in which Christ tells a crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord."

Debate continues over whether the Lord's Honda had bumper stickers that said, "My other car is a flaming chariot," "Honk if you love me" or "This is my beloved son, in whom I am well-pleased because he was an honor student at Galilee Elementary."

Meanwhile, Ostler has discovered another transportation-related scripture: Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

In other news....
Would Allah do her?

50 dead in riots over beauty pageant article

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Associated Press

Nov. 21, 2002 | LAGOS, *****ia -- Rioters stabbed pedestrians and torched churches during violent demonstrations Thursday in the northern city of Kaduna. The Red Cross said more than 50 people died and 200 were wounded.

The protests were triggered by a newspaper article suggesting Islam's founding prophet might have chosen a wife from among contestants in the Miss World beauty pageant in *****ia.

More than 50 people were stabbed, bludgeoned or burned to death and 200 were seriously injured in the violence in predominantly Muslim neighborhoods, *****ian Red Cross President Emmanuel Ijewere told The Associated Press. At least four churches were destroyed, he said.

Ahh? What a Peaceful Religion.

Hell.. HeyZus would drive a big ole F350 with the Diesel in it!
Those other crack smokers would be driving the short bus if you know what I mean!

he was a carpenter

Actually, the first car mentioned in the Bible was a Plymouth.
It's in Genesis where God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in his Fury.

Wow, a bunch of Bible scholars we have here....
Actually when Jesus returns he will be riding a White horse and returning to claim his wife ( The Church) and everyone on earth will see it at once.
Rev. 6:1,2 Obviously the problem is differentiating Gods plan for this planet and what man thinks is Gods plan. Men make stupid requests of Auto makers and we blame that on God?

I think as well it is quite clear in scripture that if Jesus did come back and drive a mechanized vehicle it would undoubtably be a Honda 1Robert 1:4

[ 12-06-2002, 08:37 AM: Message edited by: treshombre ]

quote:

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Originally posted by treshombre:

I think as well it is quite clear in scripture that if Jesus did come back and drive a mechanized vehicle it would undoubtably be a Honda 1Robert 1:4

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LMAO!!!