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Is An Ex Friends Ex Off The Dating List?

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We are off roaders and a select few out there when you work at a big company and relate to so many people on a daily basis. So here is the long and short of it.

In my circle of friends, Girl X has been with her husband 20yrs or so and cheated on him and got caught and they have been broken up since last November. Mr X is a good guy and a duner.

He has always had a thing for a girl in our group who is single and has been a glamis girl for a long time.

But he just hung out with this girl as friends and never did anything inappropriate.

So almost a year has gone by since his wife left him and now my girlfriend is kind of has feelings for him back but she was also friends with Mrs. X even though they havent really talked or hung out together in the last couple years. They were known as friends before but how do you call someone you have only talked to 3 times a year a close friend?

So does my friend blow off Mrs X and go for Mr X or does she stay loyal to Mrs X forever?

Oh and all the kids on both sides of the family have been friends for 14yrs or so. yikes I dont envy her or this decision.

I just know myself as a single duner Mom that it is hard to find a guy that you bond with and have the love of the dunes together. I have met guys that dont even know about Glamis and Im not sure would like it if I brought them there.

Anyways, I dont know what to tell her but its an open poll so lets hear about the morals and/or through caution to the wind.

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You only live once and if you can be happy...go for it is how I look at it. Mrs. cheater X has no say IMHO opinion since she broke a sacred rule.

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All of us seem to be OK with it except his youngest daughter who is making it hard by email the new girl and being very loyal to her cheating Mom. She said she will never approve of this and wants my friend to stop seeing her dad.

Again I do believe in what you said above but finding that special someone who has that love of the sand in your heart and share so much is very hard but kids come first. Oh and the youngest daughter is turning 19yrs old next month so they arent babies anymore, you would think she would just be happy for her dad.

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I'll probably get bbq'd for my response, but I'll live (maybe). I've got one real problem: you still say "Mr." and "Mrs." 'X' and that they've "broken up". If they're still married, single girl should stay away. If they're divorced, and "Mrs. X" is the one who turned her back on the marriage (per your scenario) and not that close of a friend, then yeah--it's all good. She just needs to keep her head on straight, and be ready to deal with any loyalties that might be in place due previous bonds and ties that were made. Best wishes for all involved!

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No BBQ, my head is so spinning from hearing this news tonight that all input is welcome. They have been apart almost a year but I think divorce is hard because they own like 18 rental properties together so that makes things very sticky. Even though she was the cheater he is the one who ended it. She claimed to still have loved only him. He couldnt forgive or ever trust her again, plus she has been caught in many lies before this one.

Im not posting this to take sides of my friends, because I wish the best for both but its hard to find someone at my age who loves all the same things you do. I guess you just look at life differently as you get older. So I guess that means Im taking his side.

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If they like each other, hit the gas. All will be well.

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If they like each other, hit the gas. All will be well.

Hey you, how are you? Havent seen you on the board for a long time.

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Whoa crazy that its 1:30am or more and more than 28 people read this thread. ha ha I thought I was the only late bird.

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I say go for it as long as the divorce is in the works. If there is anything that could prevent the divorce from completing (i.e. change of feelings) then no... The way I see it is Mrs X made her choice and now needs to live with it. If the new girl is completely aware of the situation and is ok with it, game on.

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You only live once, I say go for it. If the kid was younger I would say be cautious about it, but at 19 I would tell her to pound sand lol. The daughter cant be so blind to the fact that her dad needs to be happy, and if its been that long there is no way I would hold back.

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If they like each other, hit the gas. All will be well.

^^^^^ what he said!!! Life is too short, get the love flowing if it's there! :D

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hmmmmmm, tough one, do you have any pics of the new chick so we form a proper opinion?....... :D

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Eff Mrs X!!!!! Cheatin biatch's precious little feelers are no longer of concern.

Go for it!! :sha:

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hmmmmmm, tough one, do you have any pics of the new chick so we form a proper opinion?....... :D

Yes.....she's the one on the right :1cheff:

post-14826-1254836615.jpg

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well im gonna be the first to say it even tho there are probably those out there thinking it:

SLOPPY SECONDS...THIRDS...FOURTHS... etc...

let the ink dry on the divorce paperwork, the kids are in college, its a day that ends in "Y", the sun rose and set all in the same 24 hours, people breath air, make it legit, sell whatever properties and allllllllllllllllllll the other LAME EXCUSES (sorry...REASONS) they are even in this mess to begin with. im not a fan of drama or all the back biting and biaatch gabbing about "well you know he was once married to ____ and she was ______ and then... " blah blah blah.

there are 8.5 kagillion peeps on this planet. find a diff one to play slap and tickle with.

just my 0.02

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hmmmmmm, tough one, do you have any pics of the new chick so we form a proper opinion?....... :D

Eff that. Got any of the 19 yr old daughter?

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Oh and the youngest daughter is turning 19yrs old next month so they arent babies anymore, you would think she would just be happy for her dad.

I think the dad should make a deal with the daughter that's bitchin, he won't see anyone else as long as she doesn't see anyone other than her current boyfriend (or if broken up, last boyfriend) ever again, sounds pretty fair to me since it's basically the same thing?

Edited by yoshi

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Had the same thing happen to me.. It was a rough year, but I have 2 friends that just celebrated their tenth anniversary and are as happy as can be!!!

Eff Mrs X. she threw away her marriage for a little extra action instead working it out at home!! She gets a one bedroom apartment in their worse property and 3 crappy squares a day!! Sorry, I have no time or room in my life for cheaters!!

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wow...well if you ask the right people on this board hell they will say its okay to cheat on your husband and wife so long as its only with one other person....from what i have heard them say....tell your friends to hang out with the right people and morals and values wont even matter.heck doesnt matter if kids are involved are not....my opinon is untill they are divorced and its final to just relax and wait...

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I agree with Hoverman.

Until the divorce is final - wait.

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Divorce should definatly be first but hey.. i married my ex's friend and all is good..yeah there was drama but that is easy to get rid of...dont get tangled in the drama and it goes away. The daughter is a big girl now, she dont need to be meddling in it. How would she like it if the roles were reversed?

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The daughter is going to dislike any woman her dad dates because her parents were together for so long.....thats just a fact and she is gonna have to get over it (and she will, it will just take time).

Now as far as the dating a friends ex thing. Normally they would be totally off limits, but this situation seems like a little more of a gray area. Is it going to be awkward at times? Yes. Will it ruin the friendship the 2 women had? Most likely, but new chick is signing up for it so she is obviously ready to let the friendship suffer. But, if the guy and new chick like each other and have found a connection then why not???? Plus, its a little salt in the wound of the ex wife (well, before she takes all his stuff in the divorce because she is now PISSED).

To me, a friends ex is always off limits. There is a lot of women in this world, why screw up a friendship?

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Just end up being a mess... Too many variables against them from the start...

Friends with benefits is another story.... :legit:

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Marraige and divorce.... hmmm let's see

Marriage is a commitment you make in your heart.... I don't understand what any government has to do with it... so that being said once you have decided you no longer can be commited or can no longer trust your partner and divorce proceedings are started and YOU know in your heart you are not going back then you are free to be with whoever makes you happy. WHOEVER that is!

If your friend is not best of friends and has little to do with the cheater then for sure go for it!!

19yr old daughters are nothing but drama anyways so it won't matter who he is with she'll be stirring the pot. For a little while.

BTW.... I've been in a similiar situation as her. Still am cause the divorce isn't final ..... The "friends" we lost, we found out weren't friends at all. The rest of our friends are happy that the two of us are happy!! Those are real friends. And so is all of her family!

Her youngest daughter (19 yrs old) who had the hardest time... her and I are now very close... she lives with me. So it can work out.

She/He needs to follow their "gut instincts" and nobody elses opinion... not even mine... haha

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wow...well if you ask the right people on this board hell they will say its okay to cheat on your husband and wife so long as its only with one other person....from what i have heard them say....tell your friends to hang out with the right people and morals and values wont even matter.heck doesnt matter if kids are involved are not....my opinon is untill they are divorced and its final to just relax and wait...

I gotta agree with Hoverman on this one. :ck:

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