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Mac

Found my biological father and family

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2 hours ago, Mac said:

When I found my bio mom, it was just curiosity.  My parents were supportive.  Meeting her was good, but the same.  My half sister tells me all the time I had the better life.  I knew it though.

My mother in law was not supportive at all! In fact she went nuts!! He just wanted to see if there was anything he needed to know about..like health issues, things like that. She took it as he wanted a new family! She would not tell him anything so he went to her sister who set up the adoption in the first place, and she told him where to start. My mother in law was so furious with her sister for telling him something he needed to know...she stopped talking to her. Unfortunately...the sister passed away this year and now my mother in law is racked with guilt because she never patched things up with her. It was never a big deal to any of us, but it wrecked his relationship with is mom, all because she was being selfish and insecure.

Sounds like you got the better life for sure. I know we love our little brother and he love us!     

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On 9/8/2019 at 10:30 AM, djk_rctruck said:

That's cool. With all the dna and genetic information on the inter web it is uniting alot of people. 

Yes, both NSA and Google have that data.

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So I am on the complete other side of this.  I was adopted and have known I was as far as I can remember. Never once for one second had any interest to find those people. I think I just had turned 18 when my grandmother took me to lunch one day and asked if I wanted to know anything about them or had any questions. I just said doesn't make a bit of difference in who I am.  I was adopted at 13 months and the people who raised me are and always will be my parents.

My middle sister she was also adopted, She was the polar opposite of me.  Like me she was told as early as she could comprehend that she was adopted. She was brought home 2 days after she was born but was the type who was always going to run away and go back to the orphanage. :lol:  She was never a happy person and always blamed it on her being adopted.  One day when she was around 15 I want to say she was bitching about going back to the orphanage and my dad had enough.  He came walking out of his room and thru a large envelope at her and said here is papers. She was pissed it had changed nothing even her name was the same.

 

Everybody is different and I am glad you were able to do what you wanted.

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Wow Mac, that's awesome! Hopefully things workout where you can have a relationship with him. IS the brother local?

 

My cousins and I got contacted from twin brothers claiming to be related, they had just done DNA on Ancestry and were seeking the birth father.

They were trying to find my dad thinking it was him.

Long story short they turned out to be cousins to me, my cousin in Palm Springs ended up with half brothers. After we figured out all the what where when and how

they didn't want much communication.

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Had a similar situation with my wife (who is adopted).  She was content with not knowing anything about her biological family.  After her (adopted) mother and grandmother had past,  some paperwork was found that had information about her.  A nosey aunt couldn't keep herself contained and contacted my wifes biological parents without her consent. It turns out that the grandmothers (both biological and adopted) were friends and had facilitated the adoption. The biological parents lived in Texas and were still together and had 2 other daughters (one from same mom/different dad, and other from same parents)  My wife supposedly had a play date with her own real half sister when she was about 10 or 11 when the grandmas got together.  The parents met on a military base and mom was already married to an abusive MP (first daughters dad) When the parents got together, infidelity was frown'd upon and the dad was transferred to a different base out of country.  The mom divorced first guy and followed and married new guy. Mom had first young daughter and my wife was a result of there new formed relationship. When the military transferred him to a different country, parents were not sure they could take care of the baby and decided to put her up for adoption.  The first child was sent to a family member and raised while they were out of country. This is were the grandma stepped in and helped with adoption. My wife went to a loving family in California and had a great upbringing. The other parents went thru ups and downs and eventually settled back in Texas. They were distraught that they gave up there daughter for adoption and tried to undo what had been done, but by then it was to late. They had another daughter a few years later and lived on.  It turns out, the bio mom was bipolar and the other 2 daughters went thru a pretty rough upbringing. My wife was the lucky one to get out and be raised the way she was. When the bio parents found out the were abouts of my wife,  they tried to make contact thru an email.  My wife was kind of in shock and did not respond. This was in the middle of the year.  By the end of the year we got another email stating the  bio mom had died (self inflicted).  The bio dad was grieving and reached out and really wanted to meet my wife.  She wasn't sure, but agreed to meet.  He flew out a few weeks later and spent the weekend and basically spilled his heart out about all the regrets he had putting my wife up for adoption and her bio mom not getting to meet her. He didn't say what the reason for her death was, but she had allot of demons she was fighting and could have been the lack of response that might have triggered something. After the  meeting my wife decided she didn't want the drama in her life and ended the relationship with the bio dad.  She still communicates with one of the siblings (bio sister), but has never met face to face.  I try to be supportive and encourage a meeting, but she is very reserved and doesn't want me to get involved. I hope one day she will have a real relationship with her sisters, but they are all cautious. It just takes time.  

I'm glad you encounter had a good outcome and you found something to connect with. 

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11 minutes ago, MGM/FRP said:

Had a similar situation with my wife (who is adopted).  She was content with not knowing anything about her biological family.  After her (adopted) mother and grandmother had past,  some paperwork was found that had information about her.  A nosey aunt couldn't keep herself contained and contacted my wifes biological parents without her consent. It turns out that the grandmothers (both biological and adopted) were friends and had facilitated the adoption. The biological parents lived in Texas and were still together and had 2 other daughters (one from same mom/different dad, and other from same parents)  My wife supposedly had a play date with her own real half sister when she was about 10 or 11 when the grandmas got together.  The parents met on a military base and mom was already married to an abusive MP (first daughters dad) When the parents got together, infidelity was frown'd upon and the dad was transferred to a different base out of country.  The mom divorced first guy and followed and married new guy. Mom had first young daughter and my wife was a result of there new formed relationship. When the military transferred him to a different country, parents were not sure they could take care of the baby and decided to put her up for adoption.  The first child was sent to a family member and raised while they were out of country. This is were the grandma stepped in and helped with adoption. My wife went to a loving family in California and had a great upbringing. The other parents went thru ups and downs and eventually settled back in Texas. They were distraught that they gave up there daughter for adoption and tried to undo what had been done, but by then it was to late. They had another daughter a few years later and lived on.  It turns out, the bio mom was bipolar and the other 2 daughters went thru a pretty rough upbringing. My wife was the lucky one to get out and be raised the way she was. When the bio parents found out the were abouts of my wife,  they tried to make contact thru an email.  My wife was kind of in shock and did not respond. This was in the middle of the year.  By the end of the year we got another email stating the  bio mom had died (self inflicted).  The bio dad was grieving and reached out and really wanted to meet my wife.  She wasn't sure, but agreed to meet.  He flew out a few weeks later and spent the weekend and basically spilled his heart out about all the regrets he had putting my wife up for adoption and her bio mom not getting to meet her. He didn't say what the reason for her death was, but she had allot of demons she was fighting and could have been the lack of response that might have triggered something. After the  meeting my wife decided she didn't want the drama in her life and ended the relationship with the bio dad.  She still communicates with one of the siblings (bio sister), but has never met face to face.  I try to be supportive and encourage a meeting, but she is very reserved and doesn't want me to get involved. I hope one day she will have a real relationship with her sisters, but they are all cautious. It just takes time.  

I'm glad you encounter had a good outcome and you found something to connect with. 

Wow....crazy story.  Thanks for sharing.

Meeting my bio mom was cool.  I met my sister at the same time.  It was a little weird but not bad or negative.  Bio mom had always told my sister that she had a brother out there somewhere.  My bio mom showed her true colors pretty fast.  She's an alcoholic and drug addict. Functional but still annoying.  We quit talking shortly there after but my sister and I have stayed in touch ever since.

I understand all the feelings and emotions that some have shared here.  It's been a different path for me. I've never been resentful of my bio parents.  Bio mom was 15 and bio dad was 19.  They gave me a chance and I like to think it wasn't wasted.  Bio mom wants a relationship with me, but knows I can't deal with her.  My sister doesn't have a relationship with her either.  I spoke to her on the phone this past weekend for about an hour.  It had been 10 years plus.  She was very emotional in a good way.  She knows she did the right thing giving me up, but she wants me in her life.

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5 minutes ago, Mac said:

Wow....crazy story.  Thanks for sharing.

Meeting my bio mom was cool.  I met my sister at the same time.  It was a little weird but not bad or negative.  Bio mom had always told my sister that she had a brother out there somewhere.  My bio mom showed her true colors pretty fast.  She's an alcoholic and drug addict. Functional but still annoying.  We quit talking shortly there after but my sister and I have stayed in touch ever since.

I understand all the feelings and emotions that some have shared here.  It's been a different path for me. I've never been resentful of my bio parents.  Bio mom was 15 and bio dad was 19.  They gave me a chance and I like to think it wasn't wasted.  Bio mom wants a relationship with me, but knows I can't deal with her.  My sister doesn't have a relationship with her either.  I spoke to her on the phone this past weekend for about an hour.  It had been 10 years plus.  She was very emotional in a good way.  She knows she did the right thing giving me up, but she wants me in her life.

Mac, Check your PM box. DON~~~

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1 hour ago, Mac said:

Wow....crazy story.  Thanks for sharing.

Meeting my bio mom was cool.  I met my sister at the same time.  It was a little weird but not bad or negative.  Bio mom had always told my sister that she had a brother out there somewhere.  My bio mom showed her true colors pretty fast.  She's an alcoholic and drug addict. Functional but still annoying.  We quit talking shortly there after but my sister and I have stayed in touch ever since.

I understand all the feelings and emotions that some have shared here.  It's been a different path for me. I've never been resentful of my bio parents.  Bio mom was 15 and bio dad was 19.  They gave me a chance and I like to think it wasn't wasted.  Bio mom wants a relationship with me, but knows I can't deal with her.  My sister doesn't have a relationship with her either.  I spoke to her on the phone this past weekend for about an hour.  It had been 10 years plus.  She was very emotional in a good way.  She knows she did the right thing giving me up, but she wants me in her life.

Yes,  Bio dad wants a relationship, but understands the reason my wife is leary.    I'm the one that wants her to meet the other family.  I grew up in "leave it to beaver" type household.  My parents just celebrated 50 years of marriage.  To me,  knowing that there is a full blooded sister and a half sister and nieces and nephews out there just makes me want to meet them more.  I almost screwed up big time and invited them out for my wifes birthday a few years ago. I couldn't keep it secret and she found out and almost divorced me!  (well not really, but she was pissed)    She would be pissed if she knew I was talking about it now.  I see what is going on with them thru facebook, but I definitely have to tread lightly on this subject with my wife.

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1 hour ago, donparscale said:

Mac, Check your PM box. DON~~~

I never got anything from you.

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