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Joke of the day

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A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us too."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place... the grass is almost a foot high!"

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You got me!

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One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says “Oh just a beer”. The bartender asked the man “Whats wrong,why are you so down today?”. The man said “My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she wouldn't talk to me for a month”. The bartender said “So whats wrong with that”? The man siad “Well the month is up tonight”.

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Who knew?

 

 

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Three Phases of Sex in a Marriage.

Phase one is titled,  House Sex.

This is when you are newly weds and you can't keep your hands off each other . You have sex in every room, the garage, the yard, even the front yard.

Phase two is called Bedroom Sex.

Time has moved on and you now have children in the house so sex is contained to the bedroom, usually after the kids are in bed.

Phase three is called Hall Sex.

The house is now back to just the two of you, kids have moved out and your alone again. Hall sex is when you now pass each other in the hall and it's F--you, ya well F---- you too.

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                                                                                                                After staff reassignments  Helen Waite is now in charge of complaints.

 

                                                                                              Please take your complaints to: Helen Waite.

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Double Date?

 

Capture-196.png

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4 hours ago, JDMeister said:

Double Date?

 

Capture-196.png

I guess they take turns! Then again, maybe a sandwich! Then again, never mind.

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