First of all, I rarely if ever comment on forums, but I recently finished this very long 4 year process about as amicably and with the least amount of attorney fees as possible. MAC's post makes excellent points. Every decision should be made with your number one focus being how it effects your child. Your next concern is calculating the long-term cost of any decision vs. the cost of Attorneys to fight over it. When necessary, but not too often, communicate directly with your soon to be ex (without Attorneys) and try to present a best case for all vs. the attorney fees to fight each element. Also, have discussions early in the day, before you are both exhausted and have not patience. Never have discussions longer than 30 minutes and get agreement on that. Otherwise they will eventually end in disaster. Take the high road, be reasonable, and protect your child. Finally, NEVER, EVER legally give up more than the 50% custody your ex may be entitled too. Your child needs you!