Hot damn folks, here comes Slappy’s Adopt-A-Wash 2.0.
Well, Slap would love to tell you that it has all the new bells and whistles, glitter, and fancy pancy dance with Nancy presentation………………………….but it is not. It is good ol fashioned get your hands dirty to keep our Mother Glamis clean. Yes, she has gotten a bit ugly these last few years or so, but it is not her fault, it is OURS. She provides us with best platform in the world so we can pursue peace and excitement that all of us duners crave, and she does it in so many wondrous ways. So why did we let her get so ugly? Because we started taking for granted the belief that everybody who regulates on her has the common decency to clean up after themselves. Our open eyes of the past have become extremely shallow, centered, and narrow. It’s not about US, it never has been.
This actually reminds Slap of a little wake up call he had the other day. Now pay attention……..Slap was in the garage working on the McSlappmachine, and it was a mess; tools everywhere, floor splattered with oil, piston rings missing, casing split, “where’s the 12mm”?, “Is that fork seal blown?” DAMN!!!! Slap was moving way too fast, way too tense, and trying to get everything done all at once. Well, as Slap was on the gas, he didn’t notice his sweet little old neighbor, Gwendilynn Bond, slowly walking up the driveway. Mrs. Bond is the sweetest 91-year-old lady on da planet, and she needed some attention. “Hi Slappy” she said in a slow scratchy whisper”. “Oh, hi Gwendilynn, have you seen Slap’s 12mm socket?” Slap said as he slipped past her towards the rims and tires. “Well…..Slappy….um….I…..don’t” she said as Slap slipped past her again without even hearing a word. Then all of a sudden it hit Slap, “What are you doing? STOP, TURN AROUND, MRS. BOND NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION.” Right at that moment, Slap took a deep breath, held Gwendilynns hand, and said, “How are you doing today you beautiful lady?” Slap looked into her eyes, and she began to slowly talk.
It turns out that she has been very sad lately. “Why?” Slappy asked with concern. Well, she had lost her dearly beloved husband, Mr. Bond, a couple years ago, and Slappy didn’t even know. It seemed like only yesterday that Mr. Bond strolled up to the Slapphouse with a freshly baked apple pie straight from the oven. Yeah, it seemed like only yesterday, only yesterday. They had been together for 67 years, and never did a day go by that they weren’t together. She told Slap stories of their time together as Canadian spies, based in the Andes, disrupting the illegal sugar cane shipments heading to Hong Kong. She told story after story. We talked for hours, and we cried together. She told Slap that she has been trying to talk to people, but no one would listen, no one cared to help, life was moving too fast, and she had slowed down. She has a life story, and she looked so beautiful telling it. She came to Slap in hopes that he would listen, in hopes that he would help.
Sound familiar? Mother Glamis is trying to talk to us, and we aren’t listening. She needs US right now. She has a story, and that story needs our attention. Why? Because it isn’t a pretty one; she is dirty, and she feels ugly, and she has come for our help. She needs a new story, and we are going to help tell it.
The Adopt A Wash Program is simple! All you have to do is pick an area in Glamis that you want to keep clean, and adopt that area. The more people adopting that area, the better. For many folks, it is their camping spot. What this means is that you are responsible to keep that area clean, and this includes cleaning up after your neighbor. If your neighbor leaves, head over to that vacated spot and make sure it is spotless, all the way down to the last cigarette butt. If you are feeling spunky, jump on that fire pit with rakes and magnets. There is glass, metal, and trash all over Mother G, and we need to throw on our gloves and get a little dirty. Mr. Red Tail, Ms. Fringe Toed, Mr. Sidewinder, and Ms. Primrose all need our help, and they are counting on us. Mother G knows we can throw a party, but it is our responsibility to clean up after. BTW, this party is a BYOB, Bring Your Own Bag. It is our responsibility to pick up that aluminum can that we passed on our ride. Don’t look away, or think that someone else will get it. It is up to us. And yes, there are good folks that have been doing the work all along, and we thank you. But, our numbers are outweighed by the Glamis wave of the uneducated, and we are here to educate. Talk to your neighbor, spread the work for a clean Mother Glamis, and feel free to ask for help.
Below you will find topics with most all the areas you can adopt, from wash 1 to Roadrunner. Pick the area and reply in that topic; your name is sealed to that area. If your area isn’t on the list, let us know. Feel free to communicate in your adopted thread. The more people adopting a specific area, the prettier that area can be. Slap’s gonna be serious for a second. Now, Slappy ain’t telling you to go all gung ho. You don’t have to do much, just at least do a little. If everybody is doing a little, in the end it’s a lot. HOT DAMN SLAPPY WANNA DANCE.
It is a long, big dune that we are to travel, and that dune may never end.
SLAP ARMY, LET'S ENJOY THE RIDE!