The recession has hit everybody really hard.
	
	My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
	
	CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
	
	Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
	
	A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
	
	I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
	
	If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," call them and ask if they meant you or them.
	
	McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
	
	Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
	
	Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
	
	My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
	
	A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
	
	A picture is now only worth 100 words.
	
	When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
	
	The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
	
	And, finally...
	
	I was so depressed last night thinking about COVID-19, the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.